I Won't Put Warning Labels on My Angel

9:05 PM

My Angel Taylor
As those of you who read my blog know, I have had numerous pregnancy losses and had to bury my baby girl Taylor in 20014. On my Facebook page, there is a picture of my angel ready for her service. I posted her picture in an album for other moms of loss to share their angel’s picture too. It was a sacred place of love and to feel no shame. Until recently it was. I had numerous moms ask that I remove their angel’s pictures because of one very ignorant person’s comments. My retaliation is the following letter.

Dear Ignorant Jerk,

When you clicked on Crossing New Bridges, you clicked on my life story. You did not bother to ask any questions. You chose to make assumptions and spew your ignorance upon women who has dealt with enough pain to last a lifetime. These women have more strength in their tiny finger than you could ever understand. You have no right to ask them to put warnings on their child’s picture.
I did not click on your page and judge you based on your life story. I did not ask you to place a disclaimer upon photos of your almost naked body. I did not get a warning from you that you were going to use abrasive and assaulting language. Nor did I get a warning about your narrow-minded opinions on whatever you decide to rant about every few minutes.

I will NOT put a warning label on my forever sleeping baby’s photo. She is part of MY life, My story. Not yours. Just as I can choose to close your social media that offends me, you can do the same. A child should NEVER be a topic of disrespect. Especially an innocent baby lost too soon.
I ask you why must a grieving parent put a warning label to others that they might feel uncomfortable viewing my angel’s photo. You should feel uncomfortable! I do every time I look at her photo. Why? Because of the emotions that are tied to her. Because of the part of my life I must face daily with pain and awkward joy of experiencing her short existence.

To be completely honest I am glad my baby girl’s photo makes you uncomfortable because now you have a small glance into my life. You may begin to understand why I am the person I have become.
Daily I am bombarded with images, attitudes, beliefs and lifestyles that make me uncomfortable. I do not post ramblings of disrespect or ignorance for others to share in and make worse. My views are not the same as yours but it that not why we live in America, Where it is ok to be who you choose to be and live life as you choose.

I did not choose to be an angel mom. I did not choose to struggle daily to keep my emotions in check. Nor did I choose to have to deal with your life story. However, I do choose to keep my angel’s memory alive in hopes to bring awareness to others in the same situation. I do choose to live life to my fullest happy capacity and I choose to respect your right to be abrasive spoken, half-naked and ignorant.

Much love from the grieving mother

                 --who will not put warning labels on her life to make you feel more comfortable


 Warm Wishes to You and Yours


Deb

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14 comments

  1. I think it's so sad that a person can be so horrid and thoughtless to disrespect women who have experienced losses. It really is people like them that make me think the worse of humanity.

    Your open letter is raw and thoughtful and full of spirit and it's clear you're not backing down. You have taught other women that it's okay and to collectively celebrate the short lives they have had with their children. That they will always be a mother even if they don't have their baby in their arms.

    I'm glad that person didn't put you off and I hope others will stand with you.

    Truly an emotional post x

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    1. I will never back down for a mother's right to love her child! Thank You!

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  2. Oh Debra, this is absolutely beautifully written. I honestly am appalled that someone had the audacity to be so rude and abusive toward you and photos of all those beautiful angels.
    Your letter, though covered in emotion, is so beautifully and well written. It shows your fierce protection of sweet Taylor, and it shows how much bigger of a person you are over Ignorant Jerk.
    I hope that today, on this Mother's Day, you are able to find some comfort. And I am happy you shared your sleeping baby's photo with us all-she is so beautiful <3
    #KCACOLS

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    1. My angel is amazing! Some people have lived in happy bubbles and never endured real pain. I realize this and have to show some compassion in my angst.

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  3. Unfortunately those sort of comments seem to come from a wider culture where baby loss is assumed to be something that should be hushed up and never spoken of. This kind of attitude makes it even harder for parents who've experienced losses. It is not unusual, and it is not something to be brushed under the carpet. Your picture is beautiful, and it seems silly for anyone to be getting annoyed about your personal memories when a) if it makes them uncomfortable, they don't have to look, and b) there are far worse things on the internet that we should be getting angry about. #KCACOLS

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    Replies
    1. I completely agree. However in today's social media obsessed world we forget that niceness is still required and that words do cause a ripple affect.

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  4. Well said, I can't believe people are thoughtless enough and cruel enough to make comments that make you feel this. I always find it odd that if something offends or makes someone uncomfortable that they know shouldn't why don't they just move on. I love that you have written this, it will give others who've experienced this (or who are worried they might) strength. Never apologise for Taylor and never apologise for any beautiful little angel. Well put Deb. #KCACOLS Lucy at occupation: (m)other

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    Replies
    1. I will never apologize for the blessings I experienced in my short time with my Taylor.

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  5. What a brave, raw letter. Don't ever back down, ever, not that I think that you will! #KCACOLS

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  6. Oh wow, I'm lost for words reading your story and what you've been through - what an ignorant idiot to make comments like this. This is so beautifully written, you should never have to apologise for Taylor. Much love to you #KCACOLS Bridget at Bridie By The Sea

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    Replies
    1. Thank you and Much love right back at you!

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  7. Oh I am one so sorry for your loss and two am so sorry that you had to endure such a douche bag. People can be so ignorant and disrespectful. Keep writing and posting whatever you need to get through your life and the pain of that loss. Thank you for linking up with #momsterslink. Do hope you will join us again today thru Sun.

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