Blogiversary Blues

2:00 PM

I am told through all the numerous e-courses and webinars that I have taken this past year to always be honest and real with my readers. So here, it LIFE SUCKS right now! It is overwhelming, draining and right out cruddy,

Highlights of My Past Two Weeks 
My uncle dies unexpectantly and I am asked to organize his memorial service, which I could not say no to, as he and my aunt are huge supporters of my family no matter the situation. This is what I do for a living. I organize services and special occasions; this by far was the second hardest for me.

We dealt with an emergency family court meeting granting us primary custody of my stepson. If you are a regular reader, you are probably a little confused as I refer to him always as "my son" because in my heart he is and has been since the day he was born. (So many things I could write about on this subject but I refuse to be bitter and unrepentantly share that bitterness with the world.)

My husband had a titanium plate fused to his neck bones to repair the damage to his spine because of being hit by a drunk driver, my husband was stopped in front of a friend's house waiting for him to back the vanload of kids into his driveway. When he looked up and realized the car lights from behind were coming too fast, he tries to turn off the road when he was hit from behind. The drunk driver backed up trying to get away and re-struck my husband's car sending it thankfully into a stump that was made a week prior. The officers told us the driver was going over 70 miles per hour when he first struck my husband's car which caused the lumbar rod in the seat to break and impale my husband in the back and crushing his disks in his neck. Many things went right that night that we can only praise God for.

  1. You see I was a week from having our miracle baby girl and I was supposed to be in that car. 
  2. My husband had decided since I was not going he was going to ride his motorcycle and I had asked him not too. 
  3. My husband's quick thinking to turn away from our friend's van kept him from crashing into it.
  4.  Lastly but the most important piece of the situation is that the stump made a week prior prevented our car from entering the living room of a couple on the couch enjoying a quiet night together watching a movie. 
Appointments, appointments, appointments. Did I mention appointments!!! Son was sent home from school with the awesome bug the school is passing around. No kidding there were seven kids waiting in the nurses office to go home, then his teacher informs me four more of his classmates were sent home after him. He was home for a week! My daughter comes down with a cold, and then has to go for child wellness checkup. Hubs has follow-ups and meetings, I have four appointments myself. This month has been nonstop traveling.

Just as we think, we are getting through the week on a positive note we arrive at church to be told my mother in-law is not answering her phone or the banging on her locked front door. My hubs speeds to her house in his neck brace to climb in a window to find her on the floor of her bathroom where she has been for almost three hours unable to get up. She is sent for evaluation and is now in a rehabilitation center to help gain her strength and walking stability. 

My Pizzazz Is Putzed (I love this incorrect statement)
Result of all this is I am drained! I have no sparkle to share. I had great celebration plans of showing off my new blog layout however; it is still under construction as the codes are not working, as they should. The menu bar is not showing and the extra author section at the end of the posts will not go away. I am still awaiting a response from the code creator.  I had also wanted to purchase some new fantastic Mommy Blogger Gifts for myself however that did not happen with everything we dealt with my extra money was spent elsewhere. I was going to try my hand at my first Facebook Live to share and chat with my awesome readers a giveaway package of some of the most liked items I have reviewed. However, I have no energy for it. I am not prepared now and I honestly just want to curl in a ball cover my head and cry at my feelings of letting down my readers and the overwhelmingness (I love this incorrect statement) of my life right now. 
I Feel Naked
Have you ever had that dream you are standing in front of a crowd naked and they are laughing at you? That is how I feel. With everything swirling around me chanting to be taken care of I feel as if I am nakedly exposed as if at any moment my pastor is going to walk in the room and reprimand me for failing at all that is needing my attention. However, I know my pastors would never do this as they are awesomely loving and understanding people (This sounds like a suck-up however, they really are amazing).

I am raw with emotion, which I hate as it makes me feel vulnerable. This irritates me, as I know my walls of control are crumbling. This scares me as I might lose myself, which causes me to feel like I am drowning. Drowning in demands to care for others. Demands of my time, energy, patience and grace. Demands I cannot fill. I am nakedly exposed to you my readers. 

Back To One Year of Blogging...
I can say I know I have come a long way from last year with my blog. I have learnt A LOT and still learning, as I am currently involved with numerous Facebook groups that share tips and secrets of blogging and webinars teaching me how to gain readers and to market myself better. Who knew I had to do so much? 

I naively started blogging to share the reality of being a mom and frugally teaching my kids at home. Now I have guest posts (other bloggers stories shared on my blog), product reviews, sponsored posts (i get paid to write about a company's products), affiliate posts (I get paid when you order from the company link I share) and I write posts for other bloggers. 

The greatest part of all this "blogging nonsense" as my husband once said before he realized how much I loved doing it; is that during this past year I gained supportive blogging friends, loyal readers and great experiences with my kids that I will treasure forever. If nothing else comes from my blogging for a whole year then I am satisfied in knowing that other moms dealing with some of the same situations have read my words, my voice was heard and I was able to bring some comfort to those struggling moms in knowing they are not alone!

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  1. And you are not alone too! So so sorry to hear what a stressful and difficult time it has been for you. I really hope this is your year! Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

    1. I believe this year coming in like a roaring lion will go out as a calming lamb!